On reaching Twenty-Sumthing (A Self-Journal)

On reaching twenty - something...
i know i havent reach that age yet... but well in a few month, hope i will.
it's the time when u're forced to grow, forced to be more open wth your life, the time when u hold bigger responsible, and the time when everything become more "real"

On reaching twenty - something
sometimes it's hard to deal with change
the future seems to head on, the worries, pressures comes ahead
yet, most of the times, we always want what we've never get
ain't that right?

There is one movie quoted that "the world might be evolving the way a person evolves." for example. Am I getting worse? Am I improving? I don't know. When I was younger, I was healthier, but I was, uh, whacked with insecurity, you know? Now I'm older and my problems are deeper, but I'm more equipped to handle them.

Weirdly, although i'm become more "equipped" to handle my problems,
the fact that life gets harder, makes me view the world in a different way too...
i become cynical toward everything, it's weird sometime to realize that i've lost a "passionate" part of me somehow...:( lately i've been questioning whether i can still love a person the way i used to love before when i was younger or not (does it sound weird? i think it does...)
it's like i've been living in such flatten world... where i become emotionless and lost faith towards anyone surround me somehow...(well, family is the exceptional though)

Maybe that's why my last post sounded so pethatic...maybe it's time to recharge my self... i just lost my spirit, my enthuasiasm, my optimisttic feelings these days... and it's hard for me to get up again...

There is a faithful words that goes like " God doesnt always give everything we ask for, yet he always give everything we need for. just to make us getting stronger everyday"

I guess the words of "getting stronger" is the process of LIFE it self. u cant never be wake up and all of sudden changing your form and become a super woman or anything like that
Life is about struggle... struggle to deal with process, problems, realities and foremost struggle to deal with ourselves...

In the other side, i just don't wanna "lose" the passionate part of me, the child's enthusiasm part of me, the courage, the ability to love unconditionally nor losing the other real values of me just because of what happen to me in the external life...

On reaching twenty-something, i guess we are all still fragile but then no matter how hard and tough our life is, it’s us who decide what we’re gonna do about it…
yet, no matter where we are, what we do, what our ages, as long as there is still LIFE there are always challenges to keep everything in balance.

I’ve heard some people say; the true happiness, only comes from a balance state of mind.