When the New Year's coming....

2006 is coming ahead, and i am so thankful to leave 2005 behind... fiuh... i just wanna live my own new life, it has been a rough, hard, difficult time for my family and my self to pass each of previous days...
there are so many hard time we've had to face, one of them was to face the the death of my beloved cousin whom were very unpredictably happened. i still can't believe that she passed away truly fast. she's been like my real sister to me whom i could rely on and talk about anything.

Months ago when i could still see her beautiful smile, I visit her house at least once a week. whe lived pretty close to each other, she had 2 lil kids whom i always adore. everytime i came to her house, she always let me play with her children in her own bed. even when she was pregnant at that time, she never complained about her youngest 2 years old boy who were always jumping around in her bed, crying for a breastfeeding nor even when her children got incredibly annoying sometimes.
I remember she had to put some kind of cork in the wall around her own bed just to avoid her lil child kicking his head to the wall. haha

i remember all the wise words she gave to me everytime i had problems. i remember the way she rolled her eyes and her enthuastic smile everytime she tells a good news to me, she'd been always update about all the news in our big family. hehe i remember her damn beautiful laugh everytime i tell jokes to her. And everytime i came to her house there was such a warm-relaxing athmosphere in every rooms, it wasn't becoz of the house (the house was actually pretty small and cramped) but her existance were somehow light up every rooms in the house.

i remember her kindness, her joys, her grateful attitude which always inspired me.
My sister, Ka Hela is a girl whom i always adore. she inspired me in everyway she lived, she was actually a fragile girl, but she's been forced to live in a broken reality where her parents had to divorce when she was young, and her only brother and sister had to fall in a dark world of an illegal drugs. i always think that she is the victim of a broken family, but what i always adore is that she always help her family, and others generously. even when it has no advantage for her.
everytime my mind flash into her, i always remember her kindness, generousity, her grateful attitude, and above all her beautiful smile.
Her generous kindness still appeared Until the last breaths she took. Ka Hela died when she had to sacrifice her self in order to give birth to her 3rd child.

2005 has been a pretty difficult time for our family and myself. and i'm so grateful to welcome 2006. i hope this new year's will be a good momentum for us to do a better things in our life. I hope the days ahead will be fulfilled with joys and laughter, I hope the friendship and the relationship will be along better. I hope god bless us in everyway we live. I hope I can face the world the way my beloved sister, Hela (RIP) did when she lived. In a kind, generous, grateful, tough and patient way.

Ps: the above picture is the lastest pic taken when she was still alive and her oldest son who is turning 9 next year