on weekend

I just came from my cousins village in mega Mendung. I was there on friday and cameback here on sunday

On saturday, there was a really big family gathering. there was almost thousands people were there. ok, I kno u mite questioning how the amount of people could reach that big.
here's the story: My cousin just got a newborn baby, so he celebrated the 40th day of the newbirth baby (which is my nephew, named sasha) the celebration day is commonly called "akikah" (that's y my big family were there). and at the same time, my uncle from kapolda invited more than hundreds of people around the place to provide sum foods, money etc for charity.

There was many many people i didnt know, they came from everywhere (not just from jakarta or around the village but also from lampung, Bogor and so on) fortunately, I'm pretty close with my cousins (mite be because we are all from the same ages.
on saturday nite, at 11pm, we went to a nice restaurant called "sumthing" (i forgot) near puncak. there was me, otto, yuli citra, yayie, and her driver. we went there to eat poffercheese.
It feels comfort to be with them when u actually feel real cold u kno? im not just talkin about the weather but also what is inside that feels cold...
ok, if i could ask, have u ever feel super duper lonely when u're placed in crowds? or have u ever feel very sad and weak when u're in the place where u need to be seen strong and "happy"? those questions mite answer abit about what being "cold" means for me here. yet, a smile is just a smile

That nite i stayed over in the the other main village which was supposed to be rent for my uncle from kapolda. vilanya berbentuk sperti rumah panggung (which all made by jati wood). di dalamnya lengkap ada dapur, 2 kamar tidur, ruang TV, dan 1 kamar mandi. me and my cousin, citra slept in a cozy room where it was supposed to be for om firman and his wife. well, it's too bad they went home and how lucky we were hehe
anyhow, the house was finely ventilated so that u can really feel the natural fresh air comes from outside. and the greatest thing is that the house has the greatest natural view than ever! from the cabin, U can view the small green garden which is belong to the house. and across the garden, there was sum other villages and the green trees unfold. the landscape was beautiful. at nite, cuma ada lampu-lampu kecil yang terlihat.

for a moment, i could pretty much throw away my lonely feeling. at least i could somehow realize that things are not that bad. angin tetap berbisik, lampu-lampu tetap menerangi malam, hewan-hewan masih bersua, manusia terlelap dan terbangun. subuh masih mengeluarkan azannya. malam terus berganti pagi. life goes on and on and maybe, what i need is to be alone sometime...